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Monday, September 9, 2013


MY THOUGHTS: Hello, Im back again!! I am humbled by the responses Ive been getting from those of you that read this blog. I am inspired and strengthened to know that my story and words have been helpful to many of you in your personal struggles. I pray that this post is no different. Please feel free to comment here or iF you choose to remain anonymous, please send me a private message at:
I have decided to begin sharing parts of my book "TRUE SOLDIERS IN GOD'S ARMY" (12 Steps to Understanding Life's Spiritual Battle & Overcoming Addiction). I will post a little from each chapter untill I post the entire book. Today I will also post the last of my story because we will be up to date in my life. I will continue to add to my story as I have experiences and as my life unfolds. I realize that I have put myself out there so to speak by being so open with my story. I feel like I need to just BE REAL and share my story so others can relate, and be able to find hope and motivation to change. Hey, if I can change than so can you. You are a lot stronger than you might think!!! Everyone has the capacity to change, everyone has worth and value, everyone deserves help. We are all unique and we all have God given gifts and talents. Know that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God and that includes your soul. You are loved by an all powerful Father in Heaven. I know God lives and loves us all!!! Here is the begining of Step 1 in my book. Please leave me a comment on FB or here and let me know what you think. I appreciate you reading and sincerely hope you will be inspired to be better. Here goes...

True Soldiers in God’s Army

HONESTY: STEP # 1 Admit that you of yourself are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

This does not mean that you do not have power to change your life. This means that you have gotten to a point where your addiction is making your choices for you. Please know that you as a human being have tremendous power over your own world. You do have the power to change, but you must be willing to put forth honest effort to do so! 
I firmly believe that these twelve steps truly have the power to transform your life. I believe that these twelve steps were inspired by the Lord. I also believe that it is not by accident that the first step to overcome addiction is all about honesty I believe that in order to overcome addiction, we must be willing to admit that we have a problem, and begin to be honest with ourselves. We must be honest with ourselves about our self destructive behaviors, but I believe that even more importantly we need to be honest with ourselves about who we really are. Who are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here on this earth? What is the purpose of this life? Where are you going after this life? These are all questions that we need to ask our self.
The truth is that you are a son or daughter of God. God is our Heavenly Father. This is why we call Him Father. We all lived with Him in heaven before we were born to our earthly parents. (See Jeremiah 1:5). During this pre-mortal existence we had only a spiritual body; we did not have a physical body. In this pre-mortal existence our Heavenly parents already had a physical body, and in order for us to become like our heavenly parents it was necessary for us to obtain a physical body. That is one of the main purposes of this life, to gain a physical body, as well as to learn to understand good and resist evil. While we were still spirits in this pre-mortal existence our Father in Heaven gathered all His children together that were to come to this earth and discussed with us His plan to help us become like Him.  As part of this great plan we would be sent to earth and be required to live by faith. We all have had a “veil” or curtain placed over our minds so that we cannot remember our pre-mortal life. We must have faith! This is why we do not remember our pre-mortal life. This life is a time of testing; a time to prove ourselves, to see if we will do the things God has commanded us to do.  God has never forced us to choose the right path; he has always given us agency so we can choose for ourselves. In this great meeting where God explained His plan for us, you chose and accepted His plan for you, to come to this earth and prepare to become like Him. Jesus Christ volunteered to come to this earth and prepare a way for each of us to return to God. Jesus Christ volunteered to be our redeemer, and our Savior. Jesus Christ wanted us to come to this earth and have freedom of choice. This is why the Holy bible says, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (See John 14:6). We all must go through Jesus to get back to our Father in Heaven.    Satan proposed a plan that would force us to live righteously, without freedom of choice. Satan wanted us to be forced into obedience. Satan who was our brother in heaven wanted us to serve him, he rebelled against God and caused one-third of our brothers and sisters to follow him in rebellion against Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The fact that you are here on this earth with a physical body means that in the pre-mortal existence you chose to follow God! You were one of the valiant and faithful of God’s children. This is who you really are; you are a child of God! I will now share a poem to further illustrate this eternal truth:
                                       Royal Birth”
                                  (Author Unknown)
I am a child of royal birth; My Father is king of heaven and earth. My spirit was born in the courts on high. A child beloved, a prince am I.
I was nurtured there; I lived by His side in a home where patience and love abide. My mother was there in that glorious place, blessing her children with kingly grace.
I grew to the stature that spirits grow; I gained the knowledge I needed to know. I was taught the truth and I knew the plan that God and Christ laid out for man.
I was there when the stars of the morning sang. My voice was heard when the heavens rang. I was there to rejoice, to praise, and applaud and I shouted for joy with the sons of God.
I waited my turn to come to earth. Through the wonderful channel of human birth. The curtains were closed and the past was gone. On the future too, the curtains were drawn.
I came to earth and God willed it so—with freedom to choose the path I should go. I must search for the truth; I must serve and obey. I must walk by faith or fall by the way.
Someday, I will go back; I will answer the call. I’ll return with my record to the Father of all. The books will be opened and so will my heart, and there will be rejoicing if I’ve done my part.
My Father the king with His infinite love will welcome me back to the mansions above. The curtains will part, and eternity in its light and glory will open to me.”
We all lived before we were born, and we will all continue to live after we die. We are all involved in a spiritual battle between good and evil. The struggle to make the choice between Satan and Christ in the pre-mortal existence is called the “War in heaven” (see Revelation 12:7). Satan waged a battle against God and those who chose to follow Christ, trying to get God’s children to follow him, Satan. Because of his rebellion Satan and his followers were cast out of the presence of God.
Satan took those spirits who followed him and moved the battleground from heaven to this earth. He is still trying to get those who chose to follow Christ to turn away from God and follow him. The battle for your soul still rages on this earth today! Satan is allowed to provide an opposition to God so that you must make a choice. This choice is a result of your agency. God knew that to become like Him, we would need to struggle and gain God like strength through choosing good over evil. This opposition allows us to prove our self to God.  Again, this is one of the main reasons for our life on earth. It is a spiritual battle between God’s army, and Satan’s army. It is a battle for our souls. We must fight to win this battle!
Satan is the father of all lies, he is a master at deception; and the deception only grows stronger when we are under the influence of drugs, or alcohol. The deception becomes so powerful that some of God’s most elect children are actually marching through life as soldiers in Satan’s army without even realizing it! I am one of those elect children of God who was marching in Satan’s army without even realizing it.
While I was living in my addictions, I was caught up in what I call the “tweaker society” of Salt Lake City, where every one is high on meth. In this “tweaker Society” everyone is high on meth, and everyone is deceiving one another. Most people that are high on meth will pretend to be your friend, and from my experiences 9 out of 10 of those people are lying! Most people who get high on meth loose their standards and morals, if they ever had any. Meth will lead you to lie, steal, and cheat your way through life. It may seem like the people you are around are being true to you at first, but it’s just a matter of time before you are betrayed. Satan’s influence is just too powerful to escape the deception. I have heard meth called “the devils dust”, and that’s exactly what it is! Avoid it like a bad disease; it will destroy your life. Satan will slowly steal your soul in the process of meth addiction! (This includes all controlled substances such as cocaine, heroine, ect…)  BEWARE! To illustrate my point even further, I will now share another poem with you. This was written by a young girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her arm. The poem goes like this:
                                                “I am Meth”
My Name: “is Meth”
I destroy homes, I tear family’s apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I m more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. If you need me, remember I’m easily found, I live all around you-in schools and in town, I live with the rich; I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. I’m made in a lab, but not like you think, I can be made under the kitchen sink. In your child’s closet, and even in the woods, if this scares you to death, well it certainly should. I have many names, but there’s one you know best. I’m sure you’ve heard of me, my name is crystal meth. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and ill own your soul. When I posses you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie, you do what you have to-just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms, your lungs, your nose. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad, when you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always—right by your side. You’ll give up everything-your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone. Ill take and take, till you have nothing more to give, when I’m finished with you, you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned- this is no game, if given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body, I’ll control your mind, ill own you completely, your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear, from inside your head. The sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see, I want you to know, these are all gifts from me. But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen, many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, if you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master, you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell, come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.”        
It’s not just meth that has this power to drag you down to hell, its all types of addiction, especially controlled substances such as meth, heroin, and cocaine. The “drug scene” is in every city and town, and the drug scene is where Satan’s deception is most powerful. It is in the “drug Scene” where Satan is waiting to take you as a prisoner of addiction! It is very important that you stay away from other people that use drugs. It is very important for you to keep your surroundings, and your environment clean. Be smart when you choose where to hang out and spend your time. Satan’s influences are very real, and if you stay away from the crowd that uses drugs then you have half the battle won already.




The guy that shot those people right in front of me in 2007 decided to go all the way to trial! I had agreed to testify against him if he went to trial, and he did take it all the way to trial! The capital murder trial was postponed four or five times, and was finally set to take place in December of 2010. Two officers from Salt Lake City flew in, and escorted me from Harris County Jail in Houston to Summit county jail in Park City, Utah. I must tell you that the Summit county Jail is much nicer than the Harris county jail. It felt like I went from the motel 6 to the Hilton! All the other inmates couldn’t figure out why I was so happy to be in jail! Summit County Jail was much smaller, cleaner, and nicer. I even had a view of the majestic Rocky Mountains out of the jail window. I was there during the winter months so there was snow all over the mountain tops. I could not believe how good the food was in Summit County jail. Well, you get my point, the Summit County jail was heaven compared to Harris County Jail. As I said already, I was so much happier living sober IN JAIL than I was LIVING IN MY ADDICTION outside of jail!      
I was finally brought in to testify in the capitol murder trial. I told the truth, and nothing but the truth. A few days later I saw on the headline news that he was found guilty of capitol murder and several other charges including aggravated cruelty to an animal. He was sentenced to over 80 years in the Utah State Prison. 
On Jan. 3rd 2011, the Honorable Judge William Barrett from the 3rd district court in Salt Lake City allowed me to come back to Texas under the condition that I would get into treatment. Because I was already in trouble back in Texas, I was taken back to the Harris County Jail in Houston. A short time later I was sentenced to a Substance Abuse Treatment Facility or SATF.  This was an intensive inpatient six month program ran by the state. It was while I was in jail and while I was in S.A.T.F. that I truly turned my life over to Christ. This is where I built the foundation I needed to maintain a sober lifestyle in the free world.
Once I was released from SATF I moved in with my brother Davis. He had a nice condo on the golf course and on Lake Conroe. I am so thankful to him for allowing me to stay with him. This time around I am doing things differently. While I was in jail and SATF I developed the habit of praying. I get down on my knees at least twice a day and give thanks for my second chance at life. I am so grateful to just be free. I feel like the habit of praying daily is a big part in my recovery. I truly believe that prayer gives me strength to stand strong and stay sober each day. I also developed the habit of running and exercising while I was in SATF. I carried that habit with me also. I feel so much better after I exercise each day. I feel like I am getting stronger every day in every way. In-fact I tell my self that I am getting stronger every day in every way out loud all the time. I recommend that you do the same. It is empowering.  I was able to find work and eventually I moved into my own one bedroom apartment. This may not sound like a big deal, but to me that one bedroom apartment was quite the accomplishment. I mean I felt like I was doing well. I was doing well! I was able to finance a nice car. I continued to attend church each Sunday. I say that my life is kind of boring and lame at times compared to the crazy life style I was living, but lame is good to me now. I’m O.K. with being bored or “lame”!  I appreciate being drama free! I cherish my sobriety. I now appreciate the little things in life that I used to take for granted. I spend as much time as I can with my family. I am committed to stay committed! I have an inner peace within my soul that words can’t explain.
I was inspired to go back to school at the age of 36 and become a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor or LCDC. I am learning so much in school about myself and about helping others. I am planning on starting my practicum at the Prison here in Huntsville, Tx. this Jan. of 2014. I hope to own and operate a treatment facility one day. I should mention that I have not given up on my dream of playing competitive golf. I practice golf several times a week and I hope that one day I will compete at the highest level. I mention that because I believe that it is important to have dreams and to never give up on your dreams. I am a firm believer that with hard work and determination you can make your dreams come true. Never give up on your dreams! Today I am happy, I am addiction free, and I feel remarkable! I will continue to share my story as it unfolds. Thank you for reading. I hope I have related with you in some way and inspired you in some way.  THANK YOU FOR READING, HAVE A BLESSED DAY!!!

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