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Tuesday, December 10, 2013


MY THOUGHTS:  Its been a while...its blogger time again.  Each time I get a comment that someone has benefited from this blog it inspires me to keep writing. I even heard that one of my post was brought inside the Utah state prison to help inspire those guys in there. Thats why I do this yall. Please share this blog with anyone you know that struggles with addiction or that has a loved one that is dealing with an addict. You can always send me private messages at I am seeking opportuinties to share my story anywhere by public speaking. If you know of someone or would like to hear my story please message me and we will make it happen. I plan on becoming a powerful motivational speaker. I am well on my way. Thanks for reading and sharing yall. I hope you are inspired and uplifted by this post....

 Well the weather outside is frightful, the lights are turned way down low, let it snow, let it snow...Its Christmas time and love is in the air. I love Christmas time because everyone seems a little more cheerful and happier. I love christmas time because I truly love my Savior Jesus Christ and He is the reason for the season. Christmas time reminds us that its better to give than to receive. Christmas time brings families together. Christmas time reminds us that Jesus Christ is a real person that actually lived on this earth.  Its just a wonderful time of year and it helps me to love life just a little bit more. Merry Christmas from Texas Yall!!!

The message that has been on my heart is to write about Loving the Lord. The Lord taught us in the Bible that the most important commandment is to LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, MIND, AND STRENGTH. As many of you know I have experienced many things in my life and I have grown to truly love the Lord with all my heart. Well its a work in progress. I love the Lord more and more each day that I choose to follow Him. I have noticed that as my love for the Lord grows my desires and behavior continues to change for the better. My heart continues to change. I am more compassionate with others. I have more patience with myself and others. I desire to be a better man each day because I love the Lord more and more all the time. Jesus Christ also said "IF YOU LOVE ME keep my commandments". My main point is that a true and sincere relationship with the Lord will change you from the inside out. As we come to know and appreciate the Lord we will be better happier people. I know its true because Im experiencing it. I know with all my heart that God lives and Jesus Christ knows ME, just as HE KNOWS AND LOVES YOU!  DO YOU LOVE HIM BACK?

You see I have experienced the very real misery and unhappiness that comes with drug and alcohol addiction. I have been homeless, jobless, and in such a spiritual prison that even jail was a relief from my miserable addicted lifestyle. I know what its like to turn away from the Lord and seek pleasure in worldly selfish ways. I thought happiness could come from money, cars , clothes, and just living for the moment. I discovered that its quite the opposite. Living for worldly pleasures creates a hole inside of our souls that never seem to get filled. Its a constant mary go round that never ends. When we live for worldly pleasure and seek happiness from money, cars , clothes, drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping and meaningless sex we are really cheating our very own souls. We are being led very gradually and carefully down to misery and endless torment. This hole inside your soul will continue to grow deeper and deeper, it will continue to be empty and you will never be satisfied as long as you are seeking happiness in worldly things. A great American prohet once put it like this..."WICKEDNESS NEVER WAS HAPPINESS"  I KNOW THIS IS TRUE BECAUSE I HAVE LIVED IT!! I see it everyday in my everyday life dealing with everyday people. Do you have an empty hole in your heart and soul? Do you seek happiness and peace but cant seem to find it? The answer is in LOVING THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART!!! That Jesus guy really knew what He was talking about.

 As I sincerly humble myself and Love the Lord I experience greater understanding, and a very real inner peace and happiness that I never experienced when I was getting high on worldly things. The high that I have today is not as extreme or intense as the high I had when I was using drugs, but it is far better and so much more real and lasting. The high Im on today is a lasting high that is much sweeter, purer, and sustaining. The high Im on today is from the true source of peace and happiness. The high I was on before was from the source of misery, lies, and darkness. Today I choose to stand strong and sober as a TRUE SOLDIER IN GODS ARMY. I invite you to turn to our Lord and savior in your life with all your heart and experience this inner peace that I speak of. Please dont confuse what Im saying and think that Im saying that when you love the Lord life is all skittles and rainbows. Thats not what Im saying. I am saying that when you love the Lord with all your heart you will be granted the inner peace and strength to get through your trials and temptations. Life is a test. We are to learn of good and evil and choose one path or the other. Its our own free choice. I beg of you to choose to follow Christ. Choose to be a true soldier in Gods army today! Dont allow Satan to fool you and trick you with his brillliant evil designs. Learn to love Jesus and If you love Him than prove it by your actions. IF YOU LOVE HIM YOU WILL strive to KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS. Focus on improvement not perfection.  We all fall short and fall down. He actually gives us weaknesses so we will humble ourselves and turn to Him, and as we do our weaknesses become our strengths. GODS PLAN IS REAL...JESUS CHRIST LIVES AND WILL RETURN TO THIS EARTH SOON. BE PREPARED!!

I promise you as you strive to Love the Lord with more sincerity and on a deeper level the hole inside of you will be filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding. AGAIN I KNOW FOR MYSELF ITS REAL AND TRUE BECAUSE I EXPERIENCE IT EVERYDAY. I truly hope I dont sound all preachy and holier than thou.. I am honestly and humbly just writing from my heart and following the inspiraion that comes to me.   I am far from any place to judge anyone. I do not judge others I am learning to see people not as we are but as we can become. We all have great worth and purpose. We all deserve and desire to be loved. This Christmas season and always let us love one another and learn to love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, might, mind, and strenghth. Let this love be your motivator and motive for all you do. He will reward you for your honor and commitment with ETERNAL  rewards that we cant even imagine at this time...


 A change of heart is a process that takes time. This process takes place as you take these twelve steps, humble yourself, and turn to Jesus Christ with your whole heart. The secret is to include Jesus Christ in your life as much as possible. Jesus Christ is the one with the healing power.  Ezra Taft Benson described this process so beautifully when he said, “The Lord works from the inside out; the world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature….Yes, Christ changes men, and changed men can change the world. (in Gen. conf. report Oct. 1985, 5-6).


Thursday, November 21, 2013


MY THOUGHTS: Hello blogger world. im back again! Ive been super busy with school so I have not posted much. I was given this handout at school yesterday so I thought I would share it since we are all seeking happiness. Im sure many of you have seen this already but its good to be riminded that our happiness lies within our selves. I hope it helps you to find greater happiness.

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right
 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame
 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk
 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs
about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining
 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change
 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 
Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels
 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
 Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
With all my love,

Remember that you are a miracle! Your life is a miracle in and of itself. You are loved. There is a real supreme being that is the creator of our souls. He lives and loves YOU!!!! and my motto as always....STAY TRUE....STAY POSITIVE....STAY STRONG....STAY SOBER....LOVE LIFE!!!

Sunday, October 20, 2013


MY THOUGHTS: Hello my friends. I feel inspired today, so I must write and share!If any one desires to send a private message you can do so at
 First I want to send a shout out to my nephew Cade Ashton. Hes a senior in HS and he spoke at our church today. The spirit was very strong as he spoke. He is such an example to everyone he knows because he doesnt just talk the talk, he actually walks the walk. What I mean is that he lives his life according to the standards of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and people take notice. They take enough notice to stop and ask him why he lives the way he lives, and he is able to answer because he has taken the time to study the scriptures and he knows and loves the Lord.  He is able to answer them by sharing his personal testimony in Jesus Christ. He lets his light shine bright by choosing to live righteosly when many of his friends around him choose to live much lower standards. I want him to know that he makes following the Lord seem awesome and cool because the light that is in him shines bright and his inner peace and happiness shine through. I know that following the Lords way IS THE AWESOME AND COOL THING TO DO!!! Thank you Cade Ashton for standing up today and speaking with confidence and sincerity. You should know that you make me and all those who know you want to be a better person and that my friend is COOL!!! I will also send a shout out to MR. Noah Bean...He is one of Cade's best friends, he also spoke in church today. He spoke of the love he has for his older brother who is out on a two yr mission inviting others to come unto Christ. He also spoke of his personal testimony in Jesus Christ. I want Noah to know that his example is powerful and he too makes it the cool thing to do to choose the right in all you do, and that my friend is COOL!!!  Mr Cade Ashton and Mr Noah Bean you are a true soldiers in Gods army, I love you both!!!! 

I also want to share a little about my day on Fri. Oct 18th. I was assigned to attend a training at the prison in Huntsville Texas. I am about to start a practicum at the prison in preperation to becoming a licensed chemical dependency counselor. I just want to say that just going into a prison helped me to appreciate my freedom. Im hoping to somehow get the message across that our freedom is very precious and sacred. Im hoping that somehow you will think about what it would be like to be locked up in a prison amd then somehow appreciate your frredom that much more. I know for me it helped me to appreciate my freedom and family on a deeper level. When we have something taken away from us all of the sudden it is that much more precious. I think we can learn to use our minds to appreciate what we have without having it taken away. I think my sisters blog does a good job at helping us realize that life is a gift and it is sacred and precious. I would reccomend that blog to everyone.
So while I was there in the prison surrounded by inmates in white jump suits I realized that we all make mistakes in life and can easily wind up in prison. The Captian spoke of a 26 yr old guy who was in his office the other day explaing that prison is no place for him. The Captain was explaining that somewhere along the way this young man lost his way and his choices landed him in prison. The Captain took the opportuinity to teach this young man that their is a better way and that he can change. That he can choose to cherish his freedom and live a full life outside of prison. I was reminded once again just how precious our freedom really is.
I attended my nephew Cade Ashtons HS football game Fri night and as I listened to the sounds of freedom and family I was overwhelmed with grattitude for my freedom. I will say that one who is lost in the world of addiction usually has three choices. One, they will continue in their addiction and wind up DEAD, or in PRISON. Or they can choose recovery and FREEDOM!!! These are your choices, choose wisely. I highly recomend recovery and freedom. Prison is full of misery and darkness and recovery is full of light and happiness. I have experienced both and I am a walking, living, breathing testimony that change is possible. If I can do it than so can you! Believe you can and your halfway there!! Cherish your freedom and family, it is a sacred and beautiful gift. CHOOSE THE RIGHT AND LET THE GOOD CONSIQUENCES FOLLOW...  CHOOSE FREEDOM OVER PRISON... CHOOSE LIGHT OVER DARKNESS... CHOOSE TO STAND TALL AS A TRUE SOLDIER IN GODS ARMY...STAY STRONG...STAY POSOITIVE...  LOVE LIFE!!!!



One way you can learn to practice this principle of letting go and letting God lead the way in your life is to look at it like my friend Joe does. I asked Joe to write about his perspective of this step, and this is what he wrote, “Hi, I am Joe W. I am an addict. This step is one I have to do everyday. Sometimes I take this step ten- times a day or more. I look at this step like my life is a car. I can drive it or God our Father can drive, it’s my choice. I start every day off with a prayer and I climb into the back seat, and off we go, but before you know it I am driving and our Father is in the back seat. So I have to stop the car and trade places. There are days when all we do is trade back and forth. It is very hard for me to let someone else drive, but I realize I must have faith in our Father and let Him do all of the driving. I know if I will let Him drive, the road of life will be one of happiness and joy. I like to ask myself and others, “Who is driving today?” Be a true soldier in God’s army, and allow your Father in Heaven drive you down the road of life. You’re Friend, Joe.
So I ask you, “Who is driving you down the road of life?” Are you willing to let go of the wheel and let God drive you down the road of life? Put your trust in God. He is real; He will not lead you astray. God knows all things. He knows the beginning from the end! He knows what is best for you. Trust in God! It wasn’t until I was incarcerated that I sincerely decided to turn my will and life over to God. Once I began to rely on God’s higher powers, it was as if a large weight was lifted off of my shoulders. My burdens were truly lightened! I began to trust that no matter what happened to me God was going to grant me the guidance, strength, and protection I needed to get through. It is my hope and prayer that as you are reading this today that you will begin to trust in God to do the same for you. He will bless you according to your faith in Him. Just believe that God wants to help you, and push all doubt out of your mind. TRUST IN GOD! He will lift the weight off of your shoulders and your burdens will be much easier to bear. I know He will because He did it for me!!!

Monday, October 14, 2013


MY THOUGHTS: Greetings blogger world. I have not posted in a while and Its time I did. I have decided that Im not going to share my entire book on here, but I will continue to share parts of my book. I am hearing that many of you like to hear my personal story, so Im going to share with you a little about whats going on in my world currently.
I am enrolled in 15 hrs of colllege at Lone Star College here in Montgomery county Texas. I am having to relearn math wich is sooo fun, let me tell you. Ok that was sarcasim. Math is not that fun! It is rewarding to put forth the effort it takes to learn it. I mean when I do well on the test, it feels good.I feel like I accomplished something great when I do well on the test. I have made B's on all my test so far, so Im pleased with that. In every other class I have A's!!! I have made an A in every class so far, thats a miracle all by itself!!!
  On the 29th of this month I will have been clean and sober for 3 years! I will celebrate by doing something special for myself as well as by reaching out to another who is still lost in addiction. I have come a long way in my life. Well I should say that the Lord has blessed me tremendously since I started to include Him in my life. I give Him all the credit. I definitely recognize that the Lord has carried me through and blesses me with the strength necessary live a sober life. I started a routine of praying daily when I was in rehab. I continue to pray each day today and I feel stronger every day. Yes some days are better than others, but life was not meant to be happy always. If we didnt experience bad we wouldnt be able to recognize and appreciate the good. We all have good days and bad days! I live by the motto that our lives are 10% what happens to us and 90%  how we react to it. In other words our attitudes will make or break us. My motto is STAY STRONG, STAY POSITIVE, AND LOVE LIFE!!!
 I have also included physical exercise into my recovery. I exercise in some way 6 days a week. I get stronger every day in every way! In fact I tell my self out loud some days, "I am getting stronger every day in every way!" And I feel strengthened just by saying those words. I still have a dream to play golf at the highest level and I practice golf almost every day. This keeps me sane! Golf is my therapy! so what Im saying is that we need to find something that were passionate about in life and make time to do it. I am saying that we need to first get our own self together and then reach out to help others. Someone once said "One drowning man cant save another drowning man". This is why I work so hard to keep myself strong in every way. I also dont pretend that im perfect because Im far from it. I am in no place to judge anyone nor do I. I believe that every soul is of great worth.  I also tell my self sometimes, "Im far far from perfect, but Im ok". I think we all need to encourage ourselves every day. we need to tell ourselves positive things. We need to be our own cheer leader.
 I am also saying that this life is a battle, a spiritual battle. We need to be execising physicallly and spiritually. We exercise spiritually by praying and reading the scriptures and serving others. I specificly ask God to bless me with spiritual strength. We exercise physically by walking, running, lifting, swimming, ect... I am so much stronger and happier because of the exercise that I do daily. I try to run atleast 2 miles a day. I am sharing these things with you because these are the strategies that have worked for me and I know they will work for you too. I also am sharing these things because I have been informed that most people that read this blog love to hear aout my personal life.
So a quick story about me: The other day I was running my 2 mile run amd I started down a road Ive never ran before. I was running along when I saw a shiny dime on the road. I thought to my self "why dont you run back and pick up that dime?" Then I thought , " Oh its just a dime, you dont need that". Then I went a few more steps and the thought came more powerfully, "GO BACK AND PICK UP THAT DIME". I thought to my self "this is weird, maybe that dime is like some secret token to protect me in some way". I thought "Ok this is weird, but the thought had come again even stronger this time. So I turned and ran back to pick up the shiny dime. Then I continued to jog and about 100 yrds  down the road all the sudden this vicious looking female Pitt-Bull came running at me with full force!!! I saw another pitt-bull running at me from another angle!!! Oh my Lord, Im about to be attacked!!! One Pit-bull was yanked back by its own chain, luckily he was tied up. But the female Pitt was growling and was not on a chain. She was in attack mode!!! I have been around pitt-bulls my whole life, so I know that they can be extremly sweet, loyal, loving dogs. I also realize that they can be killers. Well, I immediately stopped running when her nose was headed for my crotch!!! All of the sudden she put her nose right up against the pocket that I had that shiny dime in and she calmed completly down!!! I spoke very sweet and calm tones to her and she stuck her nose in my crotch once again, but stayed calm. Then she put her nose again up against that shiny little dime... Now Im not forsure, but I cant help but think that turning around and picking up that shiny dime gave the Angels around me time to act. Im not forsure exactly what happened, but Im pretty dang sure that there was a higher power and angels of some sort protecting me from this vicious pitt-bull. I know dogs and I know something changed this dogs entire demeanor in a mattter of seconds, She went from attack mode to chill mode in a moment. Lets just say that Im grateful to have my konands still in  Im pretty sure she was about to lock her jaws on my crotch!!! I feel that I was protected that day, and Im thankful for that. I choose a diffirent route on my run now too!! I hope that yall enjoy hearing about my life and that you are uplifted and encouraged in some way. I write this in hopes that someone somewhere will choose to live a better life and find true hope in their life. Faith, Hope, and Love are some good things He gave us and the greatest is love!! STAY STRONG, STAY POSITIVE, LOVE LIFE!!!


What is true Hope??? From TRUE SOLDIERS IN GOD'S ARMY:

In step 2 we begin to realize that Jesus Christ can and will deliver us from the spiritual prison that we call addiction. This step is about hope. What is hope? Hope is that feeling of confidence that we get inside that helps us look to the future with confidence and with a positive attitude. The attitude that we have as individuals is so important, because it will impact your life in so many ways and on so many levels. A man by the name of Charles Swindoll said it best when he said,   “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes”
When you have a positive attitude then your recovery process will be so much easier and you will be much more willing to take action. Your attitude will make or break your recovery! When my nephew Travis was in the car accident and had a severe brain injury, he couldn’t walk, or eat, he had to start over in life. If anyone ever needed to have hope in life it was him. Henry B. Eyring wrote a letter to Travis about hope. In his letter he said, “Hope is a feeling of confidence that comes from faith in Jesus Christ that everything will work together for your good if you put your trust in Him.” As we learn what it means to be a true soldier in God’s army we will put our trust in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. He is the only one that has the power to restore you to complete spiritual health.

Saturday, September 21, 2013


MY THOUGHTS: Hello world, its good to be back blogging. Im on twitter now and Im getting responses from all over the world!!! This is truly amazing! I love being a force for good in this world. Today Im sharing more of the mission of my book. you see I have been inspired to begin collecting true addiction recovery stories and poems from everywhere. Anyway, Im going to now share a little more about the mission of TRUE SOLDIERS IN GODS ARMY...Yes we really are on a mission and with God leading the way nothing can stop us!! As part of the mission of my book we will get the book into prisons, jails and rehabs all over the globe. Although the book is for everyone it is written especially for inmates and those in rehab. I actually wrote most of this book while I was incarcerated and my message is especially for that aduience. I will now share the intro to my book and then a quote about the power in sharing our stories. I will then share the rest of Step 1 of my book. I should have shared the intro in my last post before I started the chapter, but better late than never. I have decided to start a non-profit organization so I can accept donations and give the book away free of charge to those who are incarcerated. I am truly on a mission to help build up Gods army!  I hope you are inspired in some way. If you would like to send a private message you can do so at I really enjoy your feedback, so please comment and let me know how this has helped you. And SHARE THIS BLOG WITH ANYONE WHO MIGHT BENEFIT. THANK YOU FOR READING AND SHARING. LOVE LIFE!!! 

                                 TRUE SOLDIERS IN GOD’S ARMY

 “True Soldiers in Gods Army” is a book on a mission! The mission of True Soldiers has four main objectives. The first main objective is to help bring the 12th step into action by sharing the strength and hope I have found in my own life, and to help the reader understand that this strength and hope comes from turning to Jesus Christ, and from sincere repentance.In other words, to assist you in having a spiritual awakening as a result of humbling yourself, and turning to Jesus Christ.
 The second main objective is to help the reader realize that in order to overcome addiction we should first recognize that we are fighting in a very real SPIRITUAL battle, and that the enemy desires to destroy us all. In other words to help the reader experience a spiritual awakening as a result of realizing that life is a very real spiritual battle (that is being fought for our very own souls) that we all fight in each-and-every-moment-of-each-and-every-day! Its been said that, “some of the greatest battles that we will fight will be the battles fought within the silent chambers of our own minds!”
The third main objective is to get this book into rehab centers, jails, and prisons throughout the world! Most of this book was actually written from jail. One of the main messages that I hope to get across is that rehab, jail, and even prison can be a great place to exercise spiritually and prepare your self to stand strong as a true soldier in God’s army. It is true that a lot of us must be physically locked up, in order to be set free spiritually. You see the reality is that some of our addictions become so strong and unmanageable that being physically locked- up in some sort of facility is the best way to break those awful chains of addiction! Prisons, jails, and rehabs are becoming more and more evil and crazy for a lot of folks, but that does not mean that one cannot change while there. Prison, jail, or rehab should be treated as a sanctuary, a place to correct your thinking, and behavior. You really can become a better person while you are incarcerated; it’s all up to the individual. I know this is true because I did it myself! It was while I was locked-up in jail and then transferred to a substance abuse treatment facility that I finally gained the spiritual strength I needed to stay addiction free. And if I can do it then so can you!  
The fourth main objective is to share my own addiction recovery story with you, and to invite you to write your true addiction recovery story to share with others. We will collect these stories and compile this collection of stories recounting personal experiences of recovery from addiction in hopes that they will provide motivation and strength to other alcoholics and addicts all over the world! We are also collecting poems that have to do with addiction recovery. We need your poems and addiction recovery stories! Even if you are still in prison, jail, or rehab we still want to hear your story.  Will you please join ranks with Gods army and help us fulfill our mission here at True Soldiers by sending us your stories and poems at: Or regular mail: PO box……? Please include your full name, your age, and how long you have been sober.  Please also include your contact information, and keep in mind that due to the large volume of poems and stories we receive we will not be able to answer all of you. In the back of the book we are including a format, and some tips that may help you in writing your story out.
True Soldiers in God’s Army is a book that will provide the reader with a greater understanding of life’s spiritual battle, and how it relates to addiction. The reader will learn of the reality of Satan and his evil army, and of the reality of our Heavenly Father and His righteous royal latter-day army! We also learn that everyone must choose for themselves whose army they will join, and that our daily choices determine whose army we are in. Whose army will you join? As for me and my house we will serve as true soldiers in Gods army! The reader will be motivated to turn away from their self destructive behaviors and to put on the whole armor of God as spoken of in the scriptures. They will be motivated to be all they can be as a True Soldier in Gods army! The reader will learn that the closer we get to the second coming of our Lord and Savior the more Satan and his evil soldiers exercise their powers to drag you and I into their misery through all types of addiction. As one reads and applies the principles in this book, they will begin to break the chains of addiction, and put on the armor of God. They will learn what it means to become a true soldier in Gods royal latter-day army. A spiritual awakening will begin to take place and Satan will eventually lose his power in his or her life.
Having been on the front line of Gods army in my own life as a full time missionary, as well as on the front line of Satan’s army as an alcoholic and addict; I have experienced many things. I have experienced the very real joy and happiness that comes from living sober and serving others, as well as the very real misery and unhappiness that comes from alcohol and drug addiction. As I have applied the twelve steps into my own life, and changed my thinking, my weaknesses have become my strengths. The reader will also come to know that their weaknesses can become their strengths. My desires to help others to break the chains of addiction are very sincere and very strong. The information that will assist you in breaking the chains of addiction is found right here in this book! I have purposely tried to keep this book short and simple, so that you can complete the book in a short period of time. I believe there is power in keeping it short, simple and easy to understand.
 It is my sincere hope and prayer that as you read this book you will have a spiritual awakening and realize that your soul is at stake in this spiritual battle we call life! It is my hope that as you read this book your desire and capacity to change will grow stronger. Before you read, will you please say a prayer that this book will help you to experience your very own spiritual awakening? Please send us your true addiction recovery stories and poems about addiction. Feel free to write to me at the address above and tell me how this book has affected your life. I would love to hear from you. Start today to be all you can be as a true soldier in God’s army!


One of the main objectives of this book is to share my own addiction recovery story, but more importantly to get you to also share your story. I have been inspired to create more books with your stories recounting personal experiences of recovery from addiction in hopes that these stories will provide motivation and strength to others.
Someone once said, “It is in the sharing of our personal stories that ignites hope, and provides the strength in others to believe in themselves, and find the courage to change. There is a common ground of understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and healing when we are authentic with each other. When we tell our real-life stories of what we have encountered on the journey of life, we break down barriers and create safe places to risk revealing truth. Intimacy in our relationships springs to life when we are no longer hiding behind the mask of denial, embarrassment, guilt, or shame. Were just us-people who have had some good days in life and people who have had some very bad days. We’ve quit pretending that everything is “fine” and that life is grand. When we share our stories with each other, we find a way of relating without the fa├žade and without the need to impress. We can just be real. This brings tremendous freedom. I used to wonder how any good could come out of reviewing the details and reliving the pain of an unwanted experience. But I’ve discovered that tremendous power is released when we dare to speak up and communicate our personal stories with honesty and vulnerability. By doing so we remind others that life is an unpredictable journey for all of us. Bad things happen, the enemy tries to destroy our spirit and our sense of purpose. If we can remember that we are engaged in a spiritual battle-not with weapons and hatred, but with hope, faith, and joy. We affirm our ultimate security in God and our love for Him in the midst of our heartache. The grace-filled reward is that we find ourselves enveloped in steadfast, intimate, extravagant love that continues to move us into the heart of the greatest adventure of all.”
We need your stories! Send us your true addiction recovery stories. PLEASE DARE TO SPEAK UP and send us your story, or a poem related to addiction recovery. Please include your full name, your age, and how long you have been sober. Please also include your contact information and keep in mind that due to the large amount of stories we receive we will not be able to contact all of you. We are including a format, and some tips that may help you in writing your story in the back of the book. Please write your story out and share it with us. Join ranks with God’s army today by sending us your true addiction recovery story. It may be your story that ignites hope in someone else and gives them the courage to change. You can go to our website at:  and share your stories and comments, or you can send them in regular mail to: ?  We truly appreciate your willingness to share your poems, and stories. Thank you!   
Now march forward as a true soldier in God’s army by reading the remainder of this book. I hope it is received in the spirit in which it has been written. I love you, and I believe in you. I know that you are a special person and that you will make it through the tough times of this spiritual battle we call life! BE ALL YOU CAN BE AS A TRUE SOLDIER IN GOD’S ARMY!  



 It wasn’t until I was arrested for murder that I realized just how powerful Satan’s grasp on me was. It was while I was in jail that I realized how real the deceptive powers of Satan are. I realized that I had transformed from a true soldier in Gods army, to a soldier in Satan’s army! I realized that when we are getting high we are part of Satan’s army. I realized that using drugs invites the influences of the devil and his evil army. I also realized that bad things will ALWAYS happen in the world of addiction. It’s not a matter of IF something terrible will happen it’s a matter of WHEN!
 On a positive note, while I was in jail, I remembered that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are a reality. I remembered that they are very much involved in the details of our lives; even when they are not recognized. I remembered that God is very much in control, and that there is no such thing as a coincidence! A coincidence is only when God and His Angels choose to remain anonymous. I began to change my thinking. I began to believe that jail is actually a blessing (for someone trying to overcome addiction) IF you have the right attitude. You can do the time or the time will do you! It’s your choice, you’re going to be there whether you like it or not, so you might as well make the best of it! You might as well change your attitude, and change your life for the better.
It took being arrested and locked-up for me, to not just admit that I was an addict, but perhaps more important so that I could be introduced to the twelve steps. Once I was arrested I was brought face to face with reality. It became clear to me that living my life addicted to drugs, I was only deceiving myself. The drugs were destroying my life. It also became clear to me that by choosing to use drugs, I was choosing to live in misery. I finally admitted that my life had become unmanageable and that I could not overcome my addictions alone. I was compelled to become humble; I finally recognized the reality that I could not overcome addiction alone. I needed help from a higher power!
I began to notice that a lot of people (including myself) became much more spiritual in jail. I am a firm believer that some of us addicts need to be locked up PHYSICALLY to enable us to be set free SPIRITUALLY. In other words, because we are locked away from our drug of choice we are able to stop using much easier. I believe that when we are addicted to pornography, drugs, or any self destructive behavior we become spiritually unhealthy. We develop a spiritual disease. Addiction is like being spiritually in prison. A lot of times once an addict is “physically” in prison we are able to become “spiritually” free.   We are set free spiritually and we come back to our normal self. This is one reason a lot of people will do really well while incarcerated or in rehab, but then relapse very quickly in the “free world”. What I’m trying to teach is that you can carry that same spiritual strength with you once you’re released from rehab or jail. You just have to make up your mind that your going to stay committed. You have to continue to exercise spiritually. When you’re spiritually strong then you are strong in the face of temptation.  I think you get my point. So stand tall and true as a soldier in Gods army!      
They call jails and prisons “Correctional” facilities. But in reality a lot of people become more corrupt in jail and prison. They are more of a “corruptional” facility for a lot of people. The message that I want to get across is that rehab, jail, and prison truly can serve as a “correctional” facility if you decide to make it that way. It’s all up to you!  Once we begin to be set free spiritually we begin to feel inner peace again, and experience joy again. We can choose to live free of addiction because we are empowered by our spiritual strength.
 While I was incarcerated I read a book called “Prison-Getting Out by Going In” (Freedom Before Release) By Coach Mara Leigh Taylor. If you are incarcerated I would highly recommend that you read that book. This book changed my life!  She writes, “Your stay in prison is intended to be a punishment, but it is possible to use your time as a rare opportunity for your personal empowerment. Your incarceration can be experienced from many different perspectives. Your ability to flourish and thrive behind bars is entirely dependant upon the parts of your incarceration that you choose to focus on. When forced to let things go, you have the opportunity to work through the ugliness that inevitably surfaces. Then you will find the place where you are ultimately free-regardless of the walls that confine you.”
Chances are that if you are in prison, jail, or a rehab facility, you are exactly where you need to be, GOD PUT YOU THERE! Use the time wisely. Adjust your attitude to appreciate the time to learn and grow stronger. Establish a relationship with your real Father, your Father in Heaven. Set your spiritual self free by turning to Christ. He will carry you through! Let us remember who we really are, children of God, and be all we can be as true soldiers in His army, no matter where we may live.
To help us understand the reality of Satan, and this spiritual battle of life a little better, I will now quote from a classic discourse given in 1928 entitled “Struggle for the Soul” by Melvin J. Ballard. He said that, “The prophets of old foretold the time to come when this question would be settled. Some of them called the conflict Armageddon. Whatever the name is, there is coming a time when the question as to who has the right to rule and reign will be settled. Every righteous man, living and dead, will be interested and engaged in that conflict, and so will every wicked man, living and dead….
What will the end of the matter be? How soon it will come I do not know, but this I know: that evidences of the approaching conflict are speeding on, and come it will, and the days are being employed in preparation for it by such activity on both sides that we would be astonished if we knew that we are going to be the center of great interest in the universe, because we are approaching great and important and critical days in the history of this world…..
Mighty forces are being arrayed on the one side and on the other for this approaching conflict that will settle the question of who shall rule and reign, in the meantime-and I speak of the devil as a personality, as a reality—there are those who are denying his existence, even as Nephi said that the devil would inspire people to say,” There is no devil”. So far as the Latter-day Saints are concerned, we never conceived that the devil was a monstrosity, that he had long horns and a tail and forked hoofs. No sir, he is a gentleman in outward appearance and if you were to see him you would turn around and look at him, he is more knowledgeable than we are. He is a reality. I am as sure that he lives as I am that God lives. Although he may seek to deceive men and to persuade them that he does not exist, he does exist, and he never was so active as he is today. In the meantime what is his business today? I declare to you that he has his recruiting stations everywhere in the world and that they are armed. He has soldiers, and he has plenty of them. He is enlisting men and women on his side in preparation for the great conflict in the vain hope that when the struggle ensues he will have a majority and thereby be successful”
This spiritual battle is very well organized on both sides. The big question is whose side of the battle are you enlisted in? Now is the time for us to exercise our faith, and put on the armor of God. Now is the time to join ranks with Gods army! We live in the latter days, we are a chosen generation. We are the very ones who must stand up for what is right, and represent our Lord and Savior in this battle. 
In 1988 Ezra Taft Benson said this, “in all ages prophets have looked down through the corridors of time to our day. Billions of the deceased and those yet to be born have their eyes on us. Make no mistake about it—this is a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time than there is of us. Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been so well organized. Now is the great day of the devils power. But now is also the great day of the Lord’s power, with the greatest number of priesthood holders on the earth…
Each day the forces of evil and the forces of good enlist new recruits. Each day we personally make many decisions showing the cause we support. The final outcome is certain—the forces of righteousness will win. But what remains to be seen is where each of us personally, now and in the future, will stand in this battle—and how tall we will stand. Will we be true to our last days and fulfill our foreordained missions...
Great battles can make great heroes and heroines; we will never have a better opportunity to be valiant in a more crucial cause than in the battle we face today and in the immediate future. Some of the greatest battles we will face will be fought within the silent chambers of our own souls. David’s battles in the field against the foe were not as critical as David’s battles in the palace against the lustful eye…
Each of us has his or her own battlefield. The tactics which the enemy will use against us will vary from time to time. He will seek to exploit our weak spots, so we must be alert to the devils devious designs—the subtle sins and clever compromises as well as the obvious offenses….
We must remember that the devil seeks to make all men miserable like unto him self. We must also remember that the Lord loves us and seeks for us the fullness of joy which he enjoys. We must choose whom we will serve”

Once you realize that you really are involved in a very real spiritual battle for your soul then you must choose a side. Jesus Christ said: and “No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one despise the other”. You must choose today whose army you will join. Everyone must make their own choice. Joshua in the Old Testament said: “Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (See Joshua 24:15).

Along with Joshua I say, “Make a choice today to be a true soldier in God’s army! Whose side are you on? When we choose to live sober we choose to be on the Lords side. When we choose to live on the Lords side we invite peace and happiness back into our lives. Satan tries his very best to counterfeit peace and happiness. I have heard it said that, “wickedness never was Happiness”! I have learned that there is a difference between fun and happiness. Fun is something you experience while you’re in the act, and fun is very temporary. Happiness is a much deeper and lasting joy that comes from obedience to Gods eternal laws. Happiness comes from living the standards of the gospel, in other words from keeping the commandments.
Sherri Dew said this: “ Happiness and lasting joy come only from living the gospel, Joy and righteousness are inseparably connected- though satan would have us believe otherwise, that joy and worldly pleasures are one and the same. But they are not. Likewise, satan would have us believe that happiness cannot be found in obedience, which he portrays as confining rather than liberating. But that is a lie” (Sherri Dew, Living on the Lord’s side of the line, 21 March 2000).
Once we begin to make an honest and sincere effort to change, guess who wants to stop you from turning your life around? If you said satan, you are exactly right. It is a pattern that is very real. The pattern is that when positive experiences—especially spiritual experiences—are about to happen in our lives, satan tries to stop it from happening.When you are trying to change you will experience opposition. In this spiritual battle we must fight to stay on the Lord’s side. It is a constant battle. We must arm ourselves against evil.
 Ezra Taft Benson spoke again about the reality of this spiritual battle when he said, “We live in an age when, as the Lord foretold, men’s hearts are failing them, not only physically but in spirit.. Many are giving up heart for the battle of life. Suicide ranks as a major cause of the deaths to college students. As the showdown between good and evil approaches with its accompanying trials and tribulations, Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression…..
When I do good I feel good; said Abraham Lincoln; and when I do bad I feel bad. Sin pulls a man down into despondency and despair while a man may take some temporary pleasure in sin, the end result is unhappiness. Wickedness never was happiness. Sin creates disharmony with God and is depressing to the spirit. Therefore, a man would do well to examine himself to see that he is in harmony with all of God’s laws. Every law kept brings a particular blessing. Every law broken brings a particular blight. Those who are heavy laden with despair should come unto the Lord, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light.(see matt 11:28-30)”.
To overcome addiction we must take action. We must first be humble enough to admit that we need help. Then we must be willing to abstain from our self destructive behavior. We must be willing to exercise faith and take the necessary action steps. The first action step is to “Become willing to abstain”. In order to overcome addiction one must first have a desire to stop. Even if it’s only a small desire, be patient, because the desire will grow stronger over time. For some of us God will take away the desire to indulge in our self destructive behavior all at once. I know people that decided to pray and ask God for help and their cravings and urges to use went away immediately. For most of us the desire to use is taken away little by little, for me it was a little at a time. I noticed that as I worked the “action steps” found in the ARPG I felt empowered and spiritually strengthened. I know that this will prove to be true for you also. Doing the “action steps” will arm you with power from on high, spiritual power, Gods power, and will give you the strength to stay clean and sober! You must do your part. Be willing to abstain, and remember that it will get easier over time. From the holy Bible in the book of Mathew chapter 5 and verse 6, we read,   “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled”.
Don’t forget to pray and ask God for help. Pray, pray, pray and pray some more! Have you prayed today? Prayer is one of our most powerful weapons in this spiritual battle we call life!
It is very important that we develop righteous character. Righteous character comes from personal values that are based on gospel principles. Some of these values would be humility, faith, repentance and just a desire to be a good person. Some of the personal values would be integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, love, respect, dependability, and responsibility. These are some of the pillars of character. Take the time to think about what YOU believe in deep down in your heart, and then think about how you are behaving. I know for me, once I realized that my behavior was in complete contradictory to everything I believed in, my desires to change became much more powerful. Ask yourself, “What changes need to be made in my life?” “Am I willing to change?” YOU have the power within you to change your desires and to change your behavior. The question is, “Are you willing to exercise a little faith and take the necessary action steps?” if the answer is yes, you are now on the road to recovery! Like my sister Missy always says about Travis’ recovery, “It may be a long and hard road to recovery, but be thankful for the road!” The power to abstain from your addiction is within you, be willing to, “just say no!” As of today, BE ABOUT CHANGE! Each day, tell yourself out loud and even in the mirror, “I’m a true soldier in Gods army, and I am getting stronger every-day in every way”!  Now let’s be true soldiers in Gods army and march forward to the next “action step”.

In the next action step we are told to, “Let go of pride and seek humility”. To be humble means to be teachable, or willing to learn. To be humble also means to be modest, meek, and deeply respectful. If we are humble we are willing to listen and learn from others. If you are humble than you are the opposite of prideful. A person that is humble will have greater spiritual strength to win the spiritual battles of everyday life.
How important is it to humble ourselves and to be anxiously engaged in staying clean and sober? YOUR ETERNAL REWARD DEPENDS UPON IT! Humility is actually the main key to recovery.  I know that if you will humble yourself and commit to following Jesus Christ that your weaknesses will one day become your strengths. I know this is true because it has happened in my own life!
There are so many ways that we can humble ourselves. We can humble ourselves by sharing our own personal addiction recovery story, and by choosing to stay clean and sober. We can humble ourselves by serving missions for Christ. We can humble ourselves by attending our ARP meetings and other church meetings. Many churches have opportunities to serve missions. I highly recommend that you serve a mission wherever possible. Those serving as missionaries, no matter what religion they may be are true soldiers on the front lines of Gods army! The two years that I spent on my mission have been some of the happiest most fulfilling years of my life!   There are actually missionary opportunities no matter what your age is, what religion you are, or where you may find yourself in life. Talk to your Bishop or religious leader and find out if you too can serve a mission. Although you may not be able to serve a mission you can still serve your Heavenly Father in many ways. Service to others is also a key to overcoming addiction, as you will learn more about in step twelve. I challenge you to think of all the different ways that you can humble yourself, and serve others, then write them down, and do them. Be all you can be as a true soldier in God’s army, and let go of pride and seek humility!
In the ARPG we read that, “Pride and honesty cannot coexist. Pride is an illusion and is an essential element of all addiction. Pride distorts the truth about things as they are, as they have been, and as they will be. It is a major obstacle to your recovery.”
Gordon B. Hinkley said this, “without honesty, our lives disintegrate into ugliness, chaos, and a lack of any kind of security and confidence, and without personal integrity, there can be no confidence. Without confidence there can be no prospect of permanent success.”
Start today to be completely honest with your self. Not just about your addictions, and self destructive behaviors, but also about whom you really are. Remember who you really are! You are a unique son or daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. He will always love you regardless of your mistakes. He may not approve of your poor choices, but He still loves you for you. Yes, it’s true that you have made some mistakes, but the mistakes don’t make you, they do not define who you are unless you never learn from your mistakes. We all have the sacred gift of free agency, or the freedom to choose. Use this gift wisely, and choose to humble yourself. The choices that you make today will affect your tomorrow. Satan will try his very best to deceive you, but we know as long as we put forth effort to become better each day, and we choose to follow Christ we will overcome addiction, and obtain true lasting happiness. Believe in your self, and trust in God to help you along the way.
As alcoholics and addicts we must turn to Christ in order to be healed. There is no other way! We must remember that “we are involved in an intense battle. It is a battle between right and wrong, between truth and error, between the design of the Almighty on the one hand and that of Lucifer on the other” (Gordon B. Hinkley).
  How bad do you want to experience the miracle of recovery? Exercise your faith and take the necessary action steps. If you are saying your daily prayers, reading the scriptures daily, and going to meetings as often as you can, then your chances at healing and enjoying a lasting recovery are really good. It is through these three things, daily prayer, daily scripture study, and meeting attendance, that we exercise spiritually and gain spiritual strength. We must do these three things to arm ourselves for the spiritual battles that we face each day. GO TO YOUR MEETINGS—SAY YOUR PRAYERS—STUDY THE SCRIPTURES! The enemy of our souls is fighting to capture you and make you his slave. The choices you make- small and large-each day determine whose side of this battle you are actually fighting for. The more often that you give into temptation the more Satan will control you, and take away your ability to choose for yourself. The more righteous choices you make, the more spiritual protection you will have, and the more self control you will gain. Be true to yourself and others by being honest with your self and others. Be willing to let go of pride and get down on your knees and ask your Father in Heaven to help you. Remember that you are a unique child of God and that you must make your own choice to fight for what is right as a true soldier in His royal latter-day army. Now let’s march forward onto step # 2.